> TEOTWAWKI Blog: The Ultimate Weapon of Self-Defense...made by Ninjas

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12/7/12

The Ultimate Weapon of Self-Defense...made by Ninjas


Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is the NINJA WEAPON OF SELF-DEFENSE. I think that blob in the top left corner is the NINJA.

Let's go through a run down of the features of this gotta-have-it-now item:
  • Made by NINJAS
  • A weapon
  • Of Self defense
  • Specially designed (as opposed to not specially designed!?) by NINJAS!
  • Effective
  • Devastating
  • Can be used by male or female ninja--equal opportunity eye stabbing
  • Also makes a dapper hat-pin or tie tack, for those who use either of those things.
  • The sheath? You know that's gonna be a quality item. Might seem like cheap plastic, but that's really dragon scales...
  • I can only imagine how informative the instructions are - and if they were also written by NINJAS!
  • Did I mention that it was MADE BY NINJAS?
Sadly, the NINJA!!! WEAPON OF SELF DEFENSE went out of production sometime in the 80s. If you can find one today, well...consider yourself very lucky. Owning one of these makes you a de facto Ninja Warlord of the 36th degree.

The Ninja Weapon of Offense was too incredibly powerful to be featured in a simple print ad. One must journey through the Land of Fire and Smoke, pass through the Gates of the Dead, fight the ghosts of Hitler, Stalin and Mao, and then swan dive into the lava pools of Mount Doom...and if one were to survive those trials, then and only then could they behold the Ninja Weapon of Offense. It also doubles as shoe horn.

4 comments :

  1. I hear Gecko .45 has a bunch of those. ;)

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  2. You've been the bunker too long again!

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  3. It's interesting to look thru a book of improvised and clandestine weapons, especially from medieval Japan and China. Sword-canes; hollow walking staffs with chains, smoke powder, darts, poisons; hand fans made with steel ribs. Then from WW2, coins concealing knife blades, daggers within pencils, hairbrushes hiding spy cameras, shoe insoles with daggers and saw in one side and gold coins on the other, for escaping.

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  4. I'm so old, I actually owned one of these--I was 16. And apparently a ninja...

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